It’s weekend. Less play, more torture. Eat this, eat that. Ugh! I know you grown-ups like weekends but we, who go to day-care, do not like them. We need our space. I have made peace with the fact that I do not get that space nor can I expect that from you. Is it too much to expect?
My typical Day on weekends.
Get up. (It is supposed to be ” Get up lazily but I am not allowed to do that”)
Brush. (Helloooo. This is weekend. Why should I brush?)
Shower (Weekend, I do not need my shower)
Eat (I have my own view about eating.)
Yes, I run here and there after that (Okay I get it! I run even during eating) but that’s called digesting and helps me maintain my health.
Get up (not lazily, mind you!)
Eat (I have my own view about eating.)
Sleep (Saturday over)
And it starts all over again. Same cycle. Do you see something important missing in all of this? Yes. There is no “play” there.
It’s just eat this and eat that.
Running helter-skelter is not considered a play-time at my home. I would like to tell my folks that it is considered doing something busy by our toddler groups. Don’t you walk or run for your meetings? Answer me and you shall have your answer. I am pretty sure there will not be an answer.
I was doing face-time the other day with my cousin (my dad’s brother’s son). By the way, for me face time is when I look at my face in the mirror. I do not know why late Mr. Jobs had to take that term away from me. Anyway, my sweet and cute cousin had his head tonsured. This is a common ritual and it is supposed to be a milestone after the arrival into this cruel and materialistic world of yours
He was like this before
He is like this now
Okay maybe not exactly like the image above but close enough. You get the picture (pun intended!)?
I was also subjected to this years ago when I was young ( I am still YOUNG unlike you guys, mind you!). My folks expected me to smile while I was parted from my beloved first hair. I obliged. You know what I received after that?
An iPad? – No
An iPhone? – No
Dora? – No
Cookie Monster? – No
Lollipop? – No
All I got was a lousy shirt saying – guess what?
” My dad is the best the world”.
God, these people!
I do not know why grown-ups subject us to this cruelty. Let me explain to you in your terms so that you can understand.
When you work or mingle with people, you establish an image of yourself. People relate you with that image. They know you by the way you talk, the way you speak, the promises you keep, the promises you do not keep, the money you spend, the money you throw away. We toddlers on the other hand are known by our babble, “oohhh aaah”, “crying”, “smiles”,dresses saying I love my daddy and last but not the least by our hair. Once you take it away without our permission, how do you expect us to smile through that ordeal? Imagine someone taking your money away from you, your iPhone away from you, your Android away from you and try to relate to what we go through. After you understand our pain, I hope you can just treat us with RESPECT.
Something is wrong with my dad and he is embarrassing me in front of everyone. Just like this dear monkey who probably was embarrassed by his dad. I guess all dads have the same trait. It is like their mission is to embarrass their kids.
Whenever, someone asks about family and kids he says “I have two daughters and both are GIRLS” I do not know why he does that.
Probably, he wants to get that extra laugh and wants to remind everyone of that forward which everyone used to send to everyone else (before I was downloaded into this world of yours), when they first got an email id.
The other day, my mom was talking to one of her end-users after a long time. The verbatim conversation follows
End-User: Hey! Long time no see. Weren’t you pregnant recently?
Mom: Yeah. We had a baby on …
E-U: So boy or a girl?
M: I had another girl.
E-U: So your first one is a boy or a girl?
M (Exasperated): A GIRL!
1. Wake up with a smile – Done
2. Hug Dora – Done
3. Blah Blah Babble – Done
4. Climb up and down – Done
5. Use Elmo Brush and swallow Elmo toothpaste – Done
Similar to this
The above picture is not that of mine but to a certain extent all toddlers have the same innocence. Trust me I know.
6. Run here and there when daddy tries to Brush my teeth – Done
7. To Drink milk or not to drink milk : Shakespearean Question – Done
8. Get ready to see my friends at school and give my folks some relief. Note: We toddlers are generally very caring no matter what the research says.
9. Go in mommy’s car. It’s time dad gets his car cleaned. Dad there is something called Trash can and I am taught to throw trash there not in your car.
I am really getting confused now. Where should I throw my trash, mommy? Something like this would work wonders for his car
10. Play play , no food. Sleep, play – Done
11. Come back home, no food, tear books( what we call reading looks tearing books to you. You folks should remember one thing – you won’t appreciate Spring if there is no Winter. Ergo, to appreciate books truly you need to tear them and lose them!) . By the way, who needs books when you have iPad?- Done
12. Wonder why iPad looks like a weighing machine and why daddy gives me this look
when I try to weigh myself on the iPad? – Done.
It is not my fault that iPad looks like a weighing machine. Ask late Jobs as he is the one who should be blamed.
Today was quite eventful. There was a big earthquake in Indonesia following which there was a Tsunami alert. There was report of minimal damage and thank God everything was fine. Infact, I should take back some of the words and say the day was very uneventful. Many of my friends and people here did not even bother about Earthquake but we panicked. I tried to make sure that my Dora was next to me and is indeed a friend. So what actually made the day more eventful was the following:
Yes! Voila! Dad got me Elmo toothpaste. It was like a God’s gift for me. Choo!Choo! Train toothpaste please do not feel bad. I love you too but change is the only thing that is constant. I will come back to you when my dad can find you in the Target Aisle. Mom keeps telling him but he keeps forgetting where to find the toddler or kid’s toothpaste. Poor soul. He says he searched for it but no one is ready to believe him. What do I care? I have my Elmo Toothpaste and toothbrush. Many more happy mornings and more "no-milk" days! Yes I know. I will get back to the milk story later, Gotta sleep. Beauty sleep and Dora Beckons me. YAWN! Good Night and take care everyone
All the grannies and gramps, uncles and aunts please take care of yourself and be safe.
I request you to skip the soaps for today and watch the news for any updates and if there is an earth-hour (what we call regular scheduled power-cuts) in your area, please listen to radio with batteries. Be prepared and keep yourself safe. Last but not the least, when I call up to enquire your safety, please do not ask me to sing “ABCD…”. You guys can be too much sometimes
Planning to request my younger sis to post her musings. Watch for this space.
I am just sleeping now next to my best friend. She is really a good friend who walks with me, talks to me, comforts me. You know she even soothes me when I get hurt and heals me when I am injured. Yeah! I use Dora Bandaid. Sometimes I wonder who was taking care of us kids and toddlers before DORA!
Thanks for your support so far, however less it is. I believe that in this journey of mine every bit of support counts. I am not speaking just for myself but for very toddler, for every first-born and for every kid who has two names. Yeah! Go ahead and smile and mock at me. I have two names. I know that it is not news for you but for me it is huge. It is too much pressure for me to handle. Imagine a kid who has limited vocabulary and is just learning to understand very few words but you expect him or her to turn, leave everything and respond to you whenever you call him by whichever name you feel like. I need fewer words to concentrate on rather than learning 2,000 words for nothing. I think it is a revenge by my dad to get back at his mom.
You all know he has a funny name. I think it is not even a name. So he gave me a nickname or pet name as they call it in India. Oh wait a minute! Dad I am not a pet. I am your daughter. So you had better call me formally and do not expect me to respond when you call me with my
Yawn. Feeling too sleepy. I got up at 7:00 and when they gave me milk to drink this morning, I just frustrated them
by taking an hour to drink a glass of milk. I just didn’t feel like and wanted my space. Mom and dad were after me to finish off the milk. I think I will leave this topic for now and revisit it later. Dora is calling me and I want to sleep. YAWN!